partofthepantomime

because i do not hope because you took because you took my hope-- i do not dare. because the truth was what i gave you and what you did not give me because all i lived and loved was a lie-- i do not dream. because all the help you gave did was harm because you made my honesty a frivolity because all your help could ever be was frivolous-- i do not dare dream.

sh-sh-shiver shaking can't stand to sit here in my skin i twitch twitch twitch myself into a spastic agony. can't stand to hear my heartbeat can't stand to feel my pulse pulsing, i stay stagnant to the world, destroy my feet, as my mind races a mile a second and again and again.

can't get past what's passed, i wither with her, glance cast askance

the sin of gluttony eats away at me, leaving me a convex geometry.

concrete river roars across the nation. i float through time zones.

i want to hold him close and say, "it's okay to be vulnerable." he'd never listen.

Faced with a list of tasks imagined unimagined, thoughts like so many pills crammed into a bottle invade the space surrounding my corpus callosum.

The taste of a foreign tongue laden with spices sizzles in my mouth. Studying the country of your origin and the ways of living (loving) exotic even to you.

New York is ALIVE at night. Boston, her prim and proper sister, sleeps early, but this wild child clad in bold bangle glittering jewels that jangle laughs and breathes and heaves a sigh as the drilling thrilling milling throngs sashay on by. Boston sips her tea politely. New York digs in, downs black coffee nightly.

i'm dumb. (i know because my father tells me so) he takes my words away.